what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
