yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize