HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
