Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
