there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
