i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
