yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
