I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
