I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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