Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
