I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
