"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize