I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
