when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
