I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
