i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
