He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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