I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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