her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
