My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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