I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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