Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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