Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
