yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
