Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
