if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
