You made me cry and you don't even care
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
