Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
