Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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