you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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