Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
