the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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