dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
