Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
