he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize