I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
