I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
