She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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