Christians are straight up FREAKS
I bet he comes in French.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
