doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
