at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
