We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
