I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
