week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
