So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
