so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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