In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My bed smells like the plague
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
