the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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