Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
