I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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