Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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