i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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