Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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