i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
