pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
