Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
