how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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