Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
