Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
