What did we do last night that was yellow?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
