And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize