a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
