i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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