It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
